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Dating your ex again tin can be a risk. If you go about it in an emotionally healthy mode, you lot may be able to rekindle your relationship and make it stronger than always. Focusing on how yous've grown and what you can both to practice go better partners can brand your new relationship flourish as y'all endeavor again. By keeping a level caput and communicating clearly, you lot can offset dating your ex once again in a healthy, stable way.

  1. one

    Focus on your ain life first. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never piece of cake. Try to work on yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your ain personal goals.[1] If your ex sees yous as a more well-rounded person, they'll probably be more than open to dating you lot—and this could even concenter them to you once more as they see what they're missing.[2]

    • Approaching your ex when y'all aren't doing well might lead to them pitying yous, and no one wants that.

  2. ii

    Attract your ex past staying aloof. If you text your ex constantly or transport them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your own life and try to work on your goals until yous feel confident plenty to reach out once again.[3]

    • Showing your ex that yous're doing fine without them can make them even more attracted to you.

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  3. 3

    Reach out when you experience ready. If it's just been a few days since your breakup, it's probably too soon. Try texting or calling your ex when you feel like you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is still fresh.[4]

    • This can be a little tough since there's no set timeline for when yous might feel "prepare." If you only feel lonely or in need of a relationship, you lot should probably wait a little longer.
    • You can start the chat by saying something like, "Hey, could we meet up? I wanted to talk about perhaps dating again, if you're interested."

  4. iv

    Express your feelings and the reasons why you lot want to date again. Most people treat breakups like the absolute finish of a relationship, so your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit downwardly with your ex and try to list the reasons why you retrieve your relationship could piece of work this time, and be prepared to answer any questions they might take.[5]

    • Yous could try saying, "I know our human relationship was rocky in the past. I've actually been working on fixing my bad habits, and I think we could really make it piece of work this fourth dimension."
    • Your ex may as well say no or be hesitant about trying your relationship once more, which is valid. Listen to their concerns and try to piece of work it out together.

  5. v

    Talk about relationships y'all had while you were apart. If you dated someone afterward you two separate upward, permit your ex know. If they dated someone for a while too, ask near information technology. Yous don't take to get into specifics, but y'all should both know about any other relationships that happened when you weren't together.[6]

    • Information technology can be tough to hear about what your ex did when you lot weren't together, simply it'southward better to find out now than exist blindsided later on.
    • If your ex is upset that you dated someone else, try to address their fears or concerns before jumping into your human relationship to avert problems down the road.

  6. 6

    Agree to piece of work on your old problems. When you've already been together, you lot both know nearly the issues that could arise in the future. As you ii talk well-nigh your new relationship, be sure to address the problems that happened in the past and what yous can both exercise to avert them in the future. Effort to stay away from the blame game, and instead focus on actionable steps that you can both take.[7]

    • For example, if yous fought a lot almost money, concur to be more open with your finances to avoid any surprises.
    • Or, if you weren't on the same page about marriage, talk about your life plans and where you lot see yourself in 5 years.
    • Or, if either of you lot had trust bug, talk most being honest with each other no matter what.

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  1. 1

    Take your relationship slow. No matter what stage of your relationship yous were in before, your new relationship is but that: a new one. If yous were living with your partner, engaged, or fifty-fifty married, merely treat your relationship like you're dating again for the outset time.

    • Taking things slow tin also aid you both right whatever negative behaviors that led to your breakup.
    • If you were living together, consider living separately for a while, even after you've gotten back together.

  2. 2

    Create new memories instead of reliving old ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might exist easy to autumn into the same patterns that y'all were used to. Endeavor do new and exciting things together to keep the relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[8]

    • For instance, y'all could have a weekly date night to visit a new restaurant you've never been to.
    • Or, you lot could plan a weekend getaway to a town you've never visited earlier.

  3. three

    Work on irresolute your former behaviors. If you find yourself falling back into the patterns that caused issues in the offset place, recognize them and piece of work to correct them. You know at present what could lead to a breakdown, so effort to avoid that at all costs.[9]

    • It's 1 thing to say you lot'll be better with your money, only information technology's another thing to actually stick to your budget every month and avoid overspending.
    • Yous tin also ask your partner to check in with you almost your bad habits. If they notice annihilation worrying, they tin can let yous know before it becomes a problem.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you accept a trouble with, sit down them down and talk to them about it. You can as well ask them to do the same thing for you. Try to talk virtually problems every bit soon every bit they come upwardly, and do information technology without yelling or blaming each other.[10]

    • Adept communication is i of the biggest indicators that a relationship volition work. When your advice breaks down, that's when the problems really first.
    • For example, you could say, "I noticed that you're staying out late once again without calling me, and that'south fabricated me upset in the past. Could we talk virtually this before it turns into a huge upshot?"
    • If you lot're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple's counselor.

  5. five

    Avert talking most your breakdown besides much. Information technology was probably painful for both of you lot, and you lot don't need to remind your partner about it every day (or every fourth dimension you make it a fight). Focus on enjoying the at present, not living in the past with your bad memories.

    • When you concord to rekindle your human relationship, brand sure y'all're over the issues that caused your breakdown. If y'all aren't over them or you haven't made your peace with them, y'all'll probably bring them up to hurt your partner in the future.

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  1. 1

    Ask yourself why you'd like to date your ex again. Is information technology because you're lone? Or practise yous really miss your ex for who they were? If you lot retrieve that y'all're merely pursuing your ex again because you don't want to be single anymore, y'all should take some time to work on yourself.[11] [12]

    • Getting into a human relationship just to be in a relationship usually doesn't cease well, particularly with someone you've dated before.

  2. ii

    Analyze the reasons you broke up in the first place. If you still aren't over it or yous haven't fully processed information technology, you should probably hold off. Really call up about the problems in your human relationship and what caused your divide before you start talking to your ex again.[thirteen]

    • For example, if your ex cheated on you lot, you might have to consider whether or not you're willing to forgive them before you get back together.
    • Or, if you just grew apart, you might want to think about how you could reconnect and rekindle your relationship in the future.

  3. 3

    Remember about the bad times too equally the good times. When you look dorsum on your relationship, information technology's piece of cake to but recollect well-nigh the times when you two were really happy. Still, before you determine to pursue the relationship again, recall about the times when you were sad, angry, or frustrated. Are you lot willing to risk going through that over again, or is information technology also much to handle?[14]

    • If yous're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider asking your friends nearly it. Chances are, they'll remember when you talked well-nigh your frustrations in the relationship.

  4. 4

    Stay away from your ex if your relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships tin can be like shooting fish in a barrel to miss when you're in them. Think about how often yous and your ex fought and how skilful you were at communicating your problems. If you brought out the bad in each other, it might be better to motility on.[15]

    • Again, you lot can talk to your friends and family unit well-nigh this, too. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your relationship, even if you oasis't.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Should I commencement dating my ex again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in simply 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her volume about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will exist published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Passenger vehicle

    Skillful Respond

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    Not necessarily. It's normal to miss your ex after a breakdown—your encephalon is still looking for the comfort that yous used to make it the relationship. Notwithstanding, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thought to get dorsum together.

  • Question

    Why do I want to become dorsum with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal afterward the end of a human relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in Jan 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Coach

    Skilful Reply

    Support wikiHow past unlocking this practiced reply.

    Feeling sad and missing your ex after a breakdown is natural. When yous first assemble, yous feel a big alluvion of chemicals that brand you feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakup, your brain experiences those same chemic reactions, merely in reverse.

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  • Your ex might not want to engagement you again, and that's okay. Try to focus on yourself and move on when you experience fix.

  • If you lot're having problem talking to each other, consider seeing a couple'due south counselor to get a third-political party perspective.

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